a girl in the world

It’s been nearly three weeks since we all left the Philippines.  The month-long holiday with the family was slated to be life changing but I didn’t really know then just how much.  During my travels, I will sometimes browse through our pictures and laugh and cry remembering it all.  The love of cousins, the wisdom of aunts and uncles, the sheer joy of our dancing and silliness.  It was all just so amazing.

With some distance of time and space, the more important things come to the surface.  Perspective.  Wisdom. Insight.  Gratitude.  My cousins have all grown up in pretty humble conditions and my parting words to all of them – young and old – was to dream big.  Dream big.  The status quo does not have to be the status quo forever.  Just like my parents dreamt big, they too can dream big and have something better, different, bigger than what they have now.

My little cousin Joy, a few weeks after we left, sent me an email.  She’s 11 and so full of laughter and love.  She said that she missed our time together and wondered how she could email DJ because she can’t write in English (this was all in Tagalog).  She told me about all of her wishes and dreams.  First, she’d always wanted a rolling backpack with wheels.  She’d wanted it since the first grade and finally, four years later, when my Aunt was able to go abroad for a few months, Joy got her rolling bag.  She also told me about how she’d love to see Boracay.  She asked how much it cost, if it was nice, how she’d really like to visit it in the future.  And then she said that her goal is to have a bike someday.

I read this and choked.  She’s nearly 12 and has never had a bike!  She’ll be starting High School soon and to think that throughout her whole childhood, she didn’t ever have a bike!  I emailed my Mom and asked her to send money on my behalf so that Joy can have her bike.  I gave the gift with the message that now that she has her rolling backpack and bike, she can dream EVEN BIGGER.  Dream even bigger Joy.

And it has all gotten me to thinking a lot about how to make a difference in the lives of young girls in third world countries.  How do you motivate them to work hard at school, so that they earn the scholarships that will get them the education that they need to pull themselves and their families out of poverty?  Is it a parenting thing?  A personality thing?  Is it discipline and mentorship and guidance?  Is it funding?  What kind of funding?  I don’t have the answer.

But I do feel that it’s important to empower young women at an early age.  It’s important that they get the education that they need to feel good about themselves, so that they don’t marry early and have children too early.  It’s important that they have a sense of self worth, a sense of confidence and purpose, a sense that they can achieve their goals and dreams.  How do you communicate that to an 11 year old?  How will it all stick?  Is it a matter of making sure that they have their basic needs met, so that they can concentrate on the aspirational ones?  What do they need?  Hope? Pressure? Proof of past successes?  I don’t have the answers but I’d really like to find them.  It’s the kind of work that I think really matters and would make a real difference.