Tell all the women to stop! The superfluous art of girl talk

If you’ve ever been at a Starbucks long enough to eavesdrop on two women chatting over coffee, you’ll realize quickly (especially if you’re a man) just how crazy the world of girl talk can be.  Scratch that.  It’s not crazy, it’s … ridiculous.  We women are ridiculous.  Even though I participate in said girl talk regularly, I’m still amazed at how we’re able to perpetuate hours of conversation on insignificant details regarding our interactions with the opposite sex.  Hours and hours on what he said, what he didn’t say, what he did and how and why and when and where.  Imagine how much more productive we’d be and how we could increase our creative output if we just STOPPED doing that and spent time on other things?!?!  We’d have cured cancer, AIDS, world hunger by now!!!

This is an excerpt from a chat I had with a girl friend earlier today….

K: denise!

me: hey miss!

K: thanks for coming out last night to somerset house. hope u guys had fun

me: it was a cool experience!! 🙂 and it was so nice to see you!!

K: 🙂
btw that boy i was telling u about on monday night
he sent me an email yesterday saying he had fun.. but that was it and like an idiot i responded with an email that i thought was casual but fun. i ran it past two guy friends here at work and they said nope.. u seem too keen! 🙁

me: LOL
oh goodness!

K: and of course i haven’t heard from him yet 🙁
ugh!

me: these MEN and their stupid games!

K: dating life sucks!!!

me: LOL.
don’t stress!
i have friends who get texts from girls they are IN LOVE WITH and they look at the text, talk to each other and are like “Ok, i won’t reply to her today. Maybe tomorrow or the next”
and i am like ARE YOU GUYS RETARDED?!?!?!?!

K: hahaha are u serious?

me: YES
SO STUPID

K: UGH
so this was our email exchange
from him:

Hi K,

Good fun last night!

Rxx

and then my novel to him:

Definitely – can’t remember the last time I had so much fun on a Monday night! 🙂

Heading out to see a movie at Somerset in a bit. What’s going on at your end this evening…practicing ballet in your large bathroom? Now that I’ve had the pleasure of getting acquainted with your singing skills..I’m quite tempted to see your pirouette!

🙂 K

me: that’s not bad 🙂
it’s totally flirty 🙂

K: yes … the boys said the opening line was TOO intense and the “what’s going on with you this evening” says that i want to see him that evening.. which is SO NOT the case

me: oh goodness 🙂 i don’t get men. so they said that it was too eager?!

Kinnari: yep!

me: let me see what the Boy thinks.

K: i bet he’ll say the same!

me: He says it’s fine. BUT NOW I AM MAD AT HIM FOR BEING A PART OF THE MALE SPECIES! because now i am irritated at men in general because they’re so dumb

K: he says it’s fine?? come on, tell me exactly what he said!

me: he said that it was friendly and that it’s the guy’s loss if he doesn’t reply

K: how cute. He’s a sweetie

me: BUT you know what, He never replied to my text messages either.

K: No??? why not?

me: it was only thanks to C that i didn’t drop him completely
she was like “oh, he seems shy. give him a chance”
and i was like “i don’t want a guy that i have to chase!”

K: hahahhahaha

me: so then i emailed him one last time and he asked me out
FINALLY!
SO NOW I AM ANNOYED!

K: LOL
you are funny

me: anyway, i am asking him for his feedback again and he said the same: “It’s the guy’s loss if he doesn’t reply”. BORING!!! Why can’t he indulge and analyze the email for two hours like we do?!?!?! 😉 LOL

K: hahhahaha. Seriously! Can u believe how much time we WASTE on this shit?

me: LOL!

K: i thought for at least 20 minutes on what to write in that email

me: LOLLL

K: just to his “had fun last night”
JESUS
and now another hour stressing about how i sent the wrong msg
lol
absolute idiot

me: I’m dying here!
SO FUNNY!
i can’t stop laughing.
dumb men.

K: hahaha
no
men are not dumb
we are. we are the ones that are wasting our time analyzing every word and gesture endlessly
oh he held my hand this way instead of this

me: LOL

K: (literally, yesterday at the bar, i was telling the girls how we were holding hands)

me: so true!

K: men spend their time on wiser things

me: what do they spend their time on?

K: the usual ones on beer and sports

me: lol

K: the smart ones on reading about the world, talking about news.. life etc.

me: you’re so right

K: when do you find a group of guys talking about some girl one of them met?

me: true true! We need to spend our energies on other things! THAT is wisdom miss!

K: yep absolutely. you need to write a blog post about this!

me: Yes.

K: tell all the women to stop!

me: I will. Ok, let’s touch base later about plans for tonight. Thanks for making my day. Such a laugh!

K: Cross your fingers for me. Hope he emails

me: it’s his loss if he doesn’t! and THAT would be stupid of him 🙂

K: 🙂 i actually agree with that
see what 30 does for u?:)
makes u pretty secure

me: 🙂 haha
YES!!!!
love it!!!!