You know you’re in the Philippines when….

The crazy traffic and pollution is no longer charming like it is in other 3rd world tourist hubs. It makes you want to pull your hair out.
When you walk around in the mall, you're a whole foot taller than everyone else.
Elementary school Christmas parties consist of sing and dance routine presentations by 6 year olds.
Take-out means stopping on the side of the road to buy roasted chicken and cooked pig's ears from a street vendor. And it is the BEST take-out dinner you've ever had!
When you go out clubbing the DJ plays such good music that you only stop dancing when your feet are absolutely beyond reason killing you. And even after that, you keep dancing some more.
Everyone you meet is somehow your aunt, uncle or cousin.
You know someone named Jon Jon, Ron Ron or Paul Paul.
You're sitting outside on the porch and can hear the neighbour's painful rendition of My Heart Will Go On. They are singing karaoke outside on their porch. NO JOKE.